Beyond Material Gifts: What To Send To Someone Who Is Grieving | Grief
When someone we care about is grieving, our instinct is often to send flowers or food. While these gestures are thoughtful, what to send to someone who is grieving goes beyond material items. The most meaningful support is emotional – something that can be challenging when distance separates you from a grieving friend or family member. Understanding what to send to someone who is grieving from afar requires creativity and thoughtfulness, as your presence might be the most valuable gift you can offer, even virtually.
Research consistently shows that social support significantly improves grief outcomes. People who receive consistent emotional connection during bereavement report better psychological wellbeing and faster adjustment. This underscores why knowing what to send to someone who is grieving emotionally is just as important as any physical gift. When we can't be there in person, our words, virtual presence, and emotional support techniques become powerful tools of comfort.
The digital age has expanded our options for supporting those in grief, making it possible to send meaningful connection across any distance. Let's explore effective ways to provide comfort when physical presence isn't possible.
Thoughtful Messages to Send to Someone Who Is Grieving
When deciding what to send to someone who is grieving, carefully crafted messages often provide the most comfort. The key is authenticity – avoid generic platitudes that can feel empty to someone in pain.
Start with acknowledgment of their specific loss. Instead of "Sorry for your loss," try "I know how much your father meant to you, and I'm heartbroken you're going through this." This specificity shows you recognize the unique relationship they've lost.
When crafting condolence messages, share concrete memories: "I'll never forget how your mom always made everyone feel welcome with her famous cookies." These personal recollections help the grieving person feel their loved one's impact is remembered.
The most supportive texts often focus on presence rather than problem-solving. Messages like "I'm thinking of you" or "I'm here whenever you need someone to listen" provide comfort without pressure. Research shows that emotional validation is more helpful than attempts to "fix" someone's grief.
Consider sending voice messages or video recordings. Hearing your voice adds a personal dimension that text alone can't provide. A simple "I'm thinking of you today and wanted you to hear it directly" can feel like a warm embrace from afar.
Remember that timing matters. While immediate condolences are important, messages sent weeks or months later are equally valuable, as they show your support continues when others have moved on.
Virtual Presence: What to Send to Someone Who Is Grieving From Afar
Your virtual presence can be a powerful form of what to send to someone who is grieving when physical distance separates you. Regular video calls provide consistent support and visual connection, which research shows reduces feelings of isolation during bereavement.
Digital care packages offer another meaningful way to send comfort. Consider creating a custom playlist of soothing or meaningful music, gifting a meditation app subscription, or arranging for delivery of self-care items. These thoughtful gestures show you're thinking about their wellbeing.
The timing of your virtual support matters significantly. While immediate outreach is important, continued presence during the grief journey is equally valuable. Set calendar reminders for check-ins at the one-month mark, significant anniversaries, or holidays, which are often particularly difficult for those grieving.
When scheduling video calls, be mindful of energy levels. Grief is exhausting, so offer flexible timing and keep conversations brief if needed. Simply sitting together in virtual silence can provide meaningful connection without demanding emotional energy.
Sending Ongoing Support to Someone Who Is Grieving
Understanding what to send to someone who is grieving over the long term is crucial, as grief doesn't follow a tidy timeline. One of the most supportive approaches is sending "no response needed" messages that simply let them know you're thinking of them without creating social obligation.
Remember significant dates related to their loss – the birthday of the person who died, the anniversary of their passing, or other meaningful occasions. A simple message acknowledging these days shows you remember alongside them.
Consistency matters more than grand gestures. Small, regular check-ins create a reliable support network. The best what to send to someone who is grieving strategy is often sustained presence rather than one-time expressions of sympathy.
Remember that knowing what to send to someone who is grieving is personal to each situation. By focusing on emotional support through thoughtful messages and virtual presence, you provide comfort that transcends physical distance – a gift more meaningful than any material item could be.

