What to Say When Someone is Losing a Loved One: Workplace Support Guide

When a colleague faces the impending loss of a loved one, finding the right words can feel overwhelming. Knowing what to say when someone is losing a loved one requires sensitivity, empathy, and awareness of workplace boundaries. Many of us freeze up, worried about saying the wrong thing, and end up saying nothing at all—which can leave a grieving colleague feeling isolated during an already difficult time.

The workplace presents unique challenges for grief support. Research shows that 85% of employees believe their productivity is significantly affected during periods of grief, yet only 37% feel adequately supported by colleagues. Understanding what to say when someone is losing a loved one isn't about finding perfect words—it's about showing genuine care through compassionate communication. Let's explore practical approaches that balance professionalism with humanity.

Compassionate Phrases to Use When Someone is Losing a Loved One

When considering what to say when someone is losing a loved one, simplicity and sincerity matter most. Avoid elaborate speeches or philosophical perspectives. Instead, try these straightforward acknowledgments:

• "I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm here for you."
• "There are no right words, but please know I care."
• "I'm thinking of you and your family during this difficult time."

For one-on-one conversations, specific offers of support make your words meaningful:

• "Would it help if I handled the Johnson project this week?"
• "I can take notes during meetings so you don't miss important information."
• "Let me know which days you might need coverage—I've blocked time in my calendar."

In group settings or meetings, brief acknowledgments respect privacy while showing support:

"Before we begin, I want to acknowledge that Sarah is dealing with a family situation. We're here for you, Sarah, however you need us."

For written communication, emails or messages that offer what to say when someone is losing a loved one should be concise but warm:

"Dear James, I just learned about your mother's condition. I can only imagine how difficult this is. Please don't worry about work right now—we've got things covered. If there's anything specific I can help with, or if you just need someone to talk to, I'm here. Take the time you need with your family."

Remember that staying calm while offering support helps create a safe space for your colleague.

What Not to Say When Someone is Losing a Loved One

Even with good intentions, certain phrases can inadvertently cause pain when considering what to say when someone is losing a loved one. Avoid statements that minimize grief or suggest timelines:

• "At least they lived a long life" (diminishes the loss)
• "I know exactly how you feel" (grief is unique to each person)
• "You'll feel better soon" (implies a deadline for grief)
• "Everything happens for a reason" (suggests their pain serves a purpose)

Instead of comparing losses or offering unsolicited advice, try validation: "This is incredibly difficult, and however you're feeling is completely understandable."

Cultural differences also influence grief expression. Some cultures are more expressive, while others value stoicism. Follow your colleague's lead on how openly they wish to discuss their situation, respecting their personal boundaries.

Long-Term Support: What to Say When Someone is Losing a Loved One Over Time

Grief doesn't end after the funeral. Knowing what to say when someone is losing a loved one includes understanding that support is needed for months afterward. Check in periodically with simple messages:

• "I'm thinking about you today. How are you doing?"
• "I remembered your dad's birthday was this week. Sending extra support."
• "No need to respond, but wanted you to know you're on my mind."

Create space for grief anniversaries by acknowledging them privately rather than in group settings. Small gestures—like leaving a coffee on their desk or offering to take a walk during lunch—show continued care without constantly referencing their loss.

Remember that learning what to say when someone is losing a loved one is less about perfect words and more about consistent presence. Your willingness to acknowledge their pain, offer specific help, and provide ongoing support creates a workplace where grief is respected rather than ignored. By approaching these difficult conversations with empathy and practical support, you help create a more compassionate workplace for everyone.