What to Say to Someone Who Lost Someone: Supporting Grieving Colleagues

Finding the right what to say to someone who lost someone in a workplace setting presents unique challenges. When a colleague experiences grief, the professional environment can make expressing sympathy feel awkward or uncertain. Yet, offering support without overstepping boundaries is crucial for maintaining both compassion and professionalism. According to the Grief Recovery Institute, employees experiencing grief cost businesses over $75 billion annually in reduced productivity, increased errors, and absenteeism—highlighting why knowing what to say to someone who lost someone matters not just for human connection, but for organizational health.

The workplace adds complexity to grief support because relationships often exist in a professional context with established boundaries. Many colleagues feel paralyzed by fear of saying the wrong thing, so they say nothing at all—which can leave the grieving person feeling isolated during their most vulnerable time. Learning effective emotional intelligence techniques helps bridge this gap with sensitivity.

Research shows that supportive workplace environments where colleagues know what to say to someone who lost someone can significantly reduce the negative impacts of grief and help team members recover more effectively.

Thoughtful Words: What to Say to Someone Who Lost Someone at Work

When considering what to say to someone who lost someone, simplicity and sincerity matter most. These phrases acknowledge their loss without forcing conversation:

• "I'm so sorry for your loss. We're all thinking of you."
• "I heard about your [relationship to deceased]. Please know I'm here if you need anything."
• "This must be incredibly difficult. I'm here to support you however you need."
• "Would it help if I took over the [specific project] while you're away?"

Notice how these expressions offer specific support rather than vague statements like "let me know if you need anything." Being specific removes the burden from your grieving colleague to figure out what to ask for.

Email and Message Templates

When writing condolences, keep messages brief and genuine. A thoughtful email might read: "Dear [Name], I was deeply saddened to hear about your loss. While I can't imagine what you're going through, please know the team and I are here to support you. I'm happy to handle [specific task] during your absence. Take the time you need—we've got things covered here."

Avoid phrases that minimize their experience or impose religious views, such as "everything happens for a reason" or "they're in a better place." These well-intentioned sentiments can feel dismissive to someone in pain. Instead, focus on acknowledging their feelings without judgment.

In-person Conversation Guidance

Face-to-face interactions require additional sensitivity. Remember that what to say to someone who lost someone often matters less than how you listen. Create space for them to share if they wish, but don't pry. Simple acknowledgments like "I've been thinking about you" can open the door without pressure.

Research on grief in professional settings shows that colleagues who master what to say to someone who lost someone create psychological safety that benefits the entire team's emotional health.

Creating a Supportive Environment: What to Say to Someone Who Lost Someone Over Time

Grief doesn't end after the funeral, yet workplace support often does. Knowing what to say to someone who lost someone months later becomes equally important. Consider these approaches:

• Mark significant dates on your calendar to remember when they might need extra support
• "I remember [deceased's name] birthday is coming up. I'm thinking of you."
• "As the holidays approach, I wanted you to know you're on my mind."
• "It's been a few months, but I imagine some days are still really tough."

For team leaders, coordinating support prevents overwhelming the grieving colleague. Designate a point person to manage team communications and organize practical help like meal deliveries or coverage for deadlines. This structured approach ensures support without intrusion.

When reintegrating a grieving colleague, recognize they may experience confidence fluctuations. Offer gentle invitations to team activities without pressure: "We're having lunch together Thursday—we'd love to have you join, but completely understand if you're not up for it."

Remember that knowing what to say to someone who lost someone isn't about finding perfect words—it's about showing up consistently with compassion while respecting professional boundaries. By balancing genuine support with respect for privacy, you create a workplace culture where colleagues feel valued as whole humans during life's most challenging moments.