Anxiety

Solidarity

How has anxiety affected your relationships with others?

Understanding how anxiety affects relationships is crucial because connection is a fundamental human need, yet anxiety often creates barriers to forming and maintaining healthy bonds. Many people find their anxiety manifests in ways that push others away, create misunderstandings, or lead to patterns of self-sabotage, impacting friendships, family ties, and romantic partnerships profoundly.

We asked our community, "How has anxiety affected your relationships with others?" to create a space for shared experiences and solidarity. Hearing from others who navigate similar struggles can reduce feelings of isolation and offer valuable insights. The responses highlighted the complex interplay between internal anxiety and external relationship dynamics.

Several key themes emerged from the discussion, including tendencies towards self-isolation, patterns of relationship sabotage driven by insecurity, significant communication challenges, and the heavy burden of hypervigilance or misinterpreting others' actions. These shared experiences underscore the deep impact anxiety can have on our connections with the people we care about.

Common Anxiety Experiences Shared by Our Community

Self-isolating or avoiding social situations and deep conversations due to fear or overwhelm.
Engaging in self-sabotage in relationships, often stemming from anxious attachment styles or assuming the worst.
Experiencing communication breakdowns, such as lashing out, difficulty expressing needs, or feeling misunderstood by partners and friends.
Pushing loved ones away due to a fear of abandonment or judgment.
Struggling with hypervigilance towards others' emotions while neglecting personal needs and boundaries.

Our community discussed

How Does Anxiety Lead to Self-Isolation in Relationships?

Many community members shared that anxiety prompts them to withdraw from social interactions and relationships. This isolation can stem from fear of judgment, feeling overwhelmed in social settings, or a belief that others wouldn't understand or accept them.

Dominique

7 months ago

I tend to isolate myself when my anxiety is bad

188

Sara

8 months ago

Self isolation

155

Vanessa

6 months ago

I always feel the tendency to shut myself out whenever I feel like I’ll be shut out by others. Anxiety has caused me to respond in ways that weren’t true to me and I spent a lot of time blaming myself for being the reason why people aren’t gravitating towards me for whatever reason, even when I did nothing wrong

295

Sarah

7 months ago

I isolate myself often because when I try to talk to my partner about it, I feel misunderstood. He says he has never had anxiety and just doesn’t understand it. It’s really hard and it makes me feel so alone and have many doubts

310

Our community discussed

Anxiety and Relationship Sabotage: Why Does it Happen?

Anxiety can fuel insecurities and fears within relationships, leading to self-sabotaging behaviours. This often involves assuming negative intentions, paranoia about infidelity or abandonment, or creating conflict based on anxious thoughts rather than reality.

Crystal

8 months ago

I self-sabotage my romantic relationships by assuming things that aren’t actually happening. I have an anxious attachment, and I get into relationships with avoidants, which is my main issue.

321

Lexi

5 months ago

I've been paranoid that my partner is cheating. He's close with an employee of his who has a lot of personal issues. Even though he tells me he loves me and doesn't have feelings for her, the paranoia and anxiety ensues. I don't want to ruin a good thing.

275

Frédérique

7 months ago

I sabotage a lot and ask my partner to be perfect as i expect myself to be. If they are not i wonder if they are the right person for me. Its also hard for me to differentiate if im with the right person and im just sabotaging the relationship or im with the wrong person but i keep trying since i dont know if its just my triggers respond or they are not a good match for me. The anxiety of always wondering about if they are right or not exausted me and makes me unhappy.

305

d’Arcy-John

7 months ago

I find that my anxiety causes me to push others away so that they won’t do it to me… I think in turn that tends to make them feel like I don’t trust them or love them when really I trust them and love them more than I have anyone else. I don’t want to lose them.

288

Our community discussed

Communication Challenges When You Have Anxiety

Anxiety significantly impacts communication, causing difficulties in expressing needs, managing emotional reactions, or even participating in conversations. This can lead to misunderstandings, conflict, and feelings of being unheard or judged.

Mia

5 months ago

I let my anxiety spiral out of control and become overwhelmed and unable to regulate my emotions, making a big deal out of something that isn’t such a big deal and causing conflict with the people I love most.

291

Rebecca

7 months ago

I am hypervigilant about other people’s emotional state. I ignore my own, then I inevitably lose it when my boundaries have been crossed because I wasn’t aware of what I needed.

330

Lilly

7 months ago

My anxiety gets to a point where I cannot function properly so I tend to just take it out on undeserving people. I’m trying to work on it, but I just find myself doing it a lot without realizing.

263

Leah

7 months ago

I perceive that others think poorly of me because I sweat terribly when anxious and my hands tremble along with shortness of breath and trembling voice which all of these symptoms create more anxiety and my need to flee the scene comes across as off putting and strange to others especially those who don’t know anything about anxiety I get accused of all sorts of untrue things and so I tend to isolate because if it all

315

Advice from our community

How to Manage Anxiety's Impact on Relationships

Confront Anxious Thoughts: As Tanja shared, facing fears head-on (like the fear of abandonment) and realizing your own resilience can lessen their power. Acknowledge the thought, play it out, and remind yourself that you can survive challenges.
Set Clearer Boundaries: Recognize your own needs, as Rebecca highlighted is difficult but crucial. Learning to identify when your boundaries are being crossed and communicating them (even imperfectly) can prevent resentment and emotional buildup.
Communicate Your Experience: Instead of assuming others dislike you or cutting them off (as Bailey reflected on), try expressing how their actions make you feel due to your anxiety. This gives them a chance to understand and potentially adjust their behaviour.
Practice Self-Awareness & Regulation: Acknowledge impulses driven by anxiety (like Michael and Unknown mentioned). Work on recognizing triggers and developing healthier responses instead of reacting harshly or passive-aggressively. Self-compassion is key during this process.
Shift Responsibility: Tanja's insight about leaving certain issues "where they belong (with the other person)" is powerful. Remind yourself that others' actions or potential actions often reflect on them, not your inherent worth.