Anxiety

Encouragement

How did you keep calm where you would have previously lost it?

Learning effective calming techniques is crucial for navigating life's inevitable stressors and frustrations. When we react impulsively in moments of anger or overwhelm, it can damage relationships, increase personal stress, and lead to regret. Developing the ability to pause, regulate our emotions, and respond thoughtfully instead of reacting rashly is a skill that enhances emotional resilience and overall well-being.

Understanding how others manage these challenging moments can provide valuable insights and practical strategies. That's why we asked our community, "How did you keep calm where you would have previously lost it?" We wanted to gather real-life examples and discover the methods people are successfully using to maintain composure under pressure.

Several key themes emerged from the shared experiences. Many found success by consciously pausing and creating space before reacting. Others focused on tuning into their body's signals and nervous system. Shifting perspective, employing mindful self-talk, accepting emotions without judgment, and utilizing specific coping mechanisms like journaling or seeking comfort were also common strategies mentioned by the community.

Common Calming Techniques Shared by Our Community

Pausing and Walking Away: Intentionally creating physical or mental space to interrupt reactive patterns.
Mindful Body Awareness: Tuning into physical sensations and the nervous system to understand and manage emotional responses.
Cognitive Reframing & Self-Talk: Changing perspective, reminding oneself of consequences, and using compassionate self-talk.
Emotional Processing & Acceptance: Allowing feelings to exist without immediate reaction, sometimes using tools like journaling.
Utilizing External Coping Tools: Relying on specific actions, routines, or comforts like prayer, physical touch (pets), or setting boundaries.

Our community discussed

How Can Taking a Pause Help Me Stay Calm?

Many community members found that simply stopping before reacting was a powerful first step. Creating a pause, whether by taking a moment of silence, walking away, or delaying a response, allows the initial wave of emotion to subside and provides an opportunity for more thoughtful action.

Linda

7 months ago

Today another car honked at me for not pulling away fast enough at a stop light. We ended up going to the same store and had to park next to each other. He cracked his window and gave me the finger. I lowered my window and was about to ask what his problem was. Instead I just sat there looking at him for a pause to collect myself, the pause made him uncomfortable. I got out and walked into the store. Never saying a word or reacting to him. I stayed calm and it felt empowering, the opposite of losing it.

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Azary

8 months ago

I just had to walk away and let god handle it

188

Joey

7 months ago

I took a pause and shared with my partner that i was having a bad day and we explored what was contributing to that. It helped to defuse the day a bit.

215

Our community discussed

What Role Does Body Awareness Play in Calming Techniques?

Connecting with the body is a core element of many calming techniques. Tuning into the nervous system, focusing on breath, and noticing physical sensations can ground you in the present moment and help regulate intense emotional responses like anger or frustration.

Mckenna

5 months ago

Tap into my nervous system and literally feel what my body is telling me and cut off what I don’t need in that moment such as anger and frustration

295

Jesus

8 months ago

Reminding myself of the heartache and stress after an argument while trying to focus on my breathing.

243

Our community discussed

Can Changing My Thoughts Help Me Manage Anger?

Shifting perspective and engaging in conscious self-talk emerged as powerful tools. This involves reminding oneself of the negative consequences of losing control, cultivating empathy, focusing on internal growth, or reframing the situation to reduce its emotional impact.

Vanessa

6 months ago

Reminding myself that exploding would make me regret it; that it would further me away from improving my response to anger. If the situation were in front of people, I wouldn’t want them to witness that.

276

Erika

5 months ago

I was able to redirect my focus from the drama my partner is creating around his fears, to the things I’m cultivating within. Instead of getting dragged into the conflict, I was able to breathe deep and talk to myself with compassion, and remind myself I can choose how i respond to him. [...] I can try to empathize with him and focus on the things I’m cultivating within.

258

Tosha

7 months ago

My sister locked me out the house... The lack of empathy would usually make me upset. I realized that I could expect less from her since this incident fit a pattern of behavior. I explored why I was upset and found that angry actions would not be useful or necessary. So while I am disappointed I didn’t ruminate or get upset about it. I made the necessary changes to our relationship and moved on. Proud of myself.

305

Dolly

5 months ago

I have a habit of not letting the past go. So I made up this silly saying. The Past was 3 minutes ago, the Future is 3 minutes from now, Live as best you can the 3 minutes in between.

192

Gerald

6 months ago

If I can notice in time, feeling empathy for others in the situation helps

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Our community discussed

How Can I Process Difficult Emotions Without Exploding?

Sometimes, staying calm isn't about suppressing emotion, but finding healthier ways to process it. This can involve acknowledging feelings without letting them dictate actions, using tools like journaling to express intense emotions privately, or simply noticing triggers without reacting intensely.

Verra

6 months ago

Journaling how I truly felt that was suppressed. Allowing myself to swear and let it all out no matter how angry it sounded.

263

Jianna

7 months ago

I hate hearing people chewing, but today I was able to keep my anger from hearing it down. I did have trouble focusing, but I didn’t lose my cool.

174

Natalie

7 months ago

I have been noticing that things that used to irritate me (every day annoyances) are not so triggering. So I get a little upset but then I move on a lot quicker, which has been nice!

209

CarmenGloria

8 months ago

In 2021 i was struck with a deep traumatic life event... After nine months of therapy i went at it alone in 2023 using the tools my therapist gave me. I have reclaimed myself back... I create my own exposure therapy and write sometimes... I have tons of tools now which makes it easier for me to navigate because everyday is a different tool. Sometimes not everything works but what works without fail is breathing with your eyes closed thinking of your favorite thing. This helps open my mind to all of the tools i have.

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Our community discussed

What Are Some Simple External Calming Techniques People Use?

Beyond internal shifts, community members also mentioned specific external actions or resources they turn to for comfort and grounding. These tangible techniques can provide immediate relief or help shift focus during stressful moments.

Dolly

5 months ago

I said the pray to St.Micheal

135

Harry

5 months ago

Cuddling the dog

226

Aimee

5 months ago

I used to get angry when I heard rumors about myself that were started by a friend now I just say how sad is that and pity her because she can’t help herself and I can’t change her. All I can do is cut her from my life.

199

Dolly

5 months ago

Every thing annoyed me... But I gathered myself , took a deep breath and said NO. I control my emotions that don’t control me. I said the prayer to St🪸Micheal and I started to calm down.

168

Advice from our community

How to Implement Calming Techniques Based on Real Experiences

Practice the Pause: When you feel anger or frustration rising, consciously create space. This could mean taking deep breaths, staying silent for a moment like Linda did, or physically walking away like Azary suggested.
Tune Into Your Body: Pay attention to your physical sensations and nervous system, as Mckenna recommended. Notice where you feel tension or activation, and use techniques like focused breathing (mentioned by Jesus) to regulate your physical state.
Reframe Your Thoughts: Actively challenge reactive thoughts. Remind yourself of the consequences of reacting impulsively (like Vanessa), try to find empathy (like Gerald), or shift your focus to your own internal state and choices (like Erika). Accepting patterns and adjusting expectations, as Tosha did, can also reduce frustration.
Find Healthy Outlets & Tools: Don't suppress emotions; find constructive ways to process them. This could be journaling (like Verra), using specific grounding techniques (like CarmenGloria's visualization), seeking comfort (like Harry), using spiritual practices (like Dolly), or setting necessary boundaries (like Aimee).