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What mindsets help you silence your inner critic?

Learning how to be less critical of ourselves is a journey many of us navigate. The inner critic, that persistent voice highlighting flaws and predicting failure, can significantly impact self-esteem, hinder progress, and diminish overall well-being. It’s a common human experience, yet finding effective ways to manage this internal negativity can feel isolating.

Recognizing this shared struggle, we asked our community: "What mindsets help you silence your inner critic?" We wanted to gather real-world strategies from people actively working through this challenge. The responses offered a wealth of practical advice and compassionate perspectives, revealing diverse yet interconnected approaches.

Several key themes emerged from the discussion. Many community members emphasized the power of self-compassion and treating oneself with the kindness usually reserved for friends. Others highlighted cognitive techniques like reframing negative thoughts and challenging the critic's logic. Focusing on past achievements, purpose, and gratitude also proved crucial for many, alongside grounding techniques and emotional release practices.

Common Experiences Shared by Our Community on How to Be Less Critical

Practicing self-compassion, like offering oneself mercy or treating oneself as a friend, is a powerful antidote.
Actively questioning and reframing critical thoughts can expose their lack of basis and reduce their power.
Recalling past successes, focusing on purpose, and cultivating gratitude shifts focus away from perceived flaws.
Mindfulness, grounding techniques, and even physical release methods help interrupt the cycle of negative self-talk.
Shifting perspective, whether by considering how others see you or recognizing cognitive biases, provides valuable distance from the critic.

Our community discussed

How Can Self-Compassion Help Me Be Less Critical?

Many find that actively practicing kindness and understanding towards themselves significantly quiets the inner critic. This involves treating yourself with the same empathy you would offer a struggling friend, acknowledging your humanity, and offering yourself mercy instead of judgment.

5 months ago

I’m giving myself mercy at this moment

185

Janine

7 months ago

I practice compassion actively.

155

Luisa

6 months ago

I try to think about whether I would ever be so critical of a friend. I would never. So I remind myself to treat myself as a 'friend' too.

315

Erika

6 months ago

I look at a childhood picture and think this is who I am talking down too.

240

Our community discussed

Reframing Critical Thoughts: Strategies to Be Less Hard on Yourself

Challenging the validity of critical thoughts is a common and effective strategy. This involves recognizing cognitive biases, questioning the assumptions behind the criticism until they seem illogical, and understanding the underlying message or unmet need the critic might represent.

Sam

7 months ago

I like to remind myself about cognitive bias, what I think and believe l, my brain will search for evidence to prove it right, so I have to change my thinking to prove it “wrong”.

288

Shamon

5 months ago

I question my critical thought until I make it ridiculous, for example: I am going to be embarrassed ( ie doing yoga). Why should be better at this. Why should I be better? Because other people already know this (ie yoga). Well I’m in a yoga class to learn to get better. If only perfect yogis went to yoga class, why would we have yoga classes at all! So I see the silliness of my inner critic and can stop learn to stop returning to that thought.

275

purem0rning

5 months ago

I look for a “valuable message” behind the self criticism. Is it my own expectations I’m not living up to, or somebody else’s?

190

Dave

5 months ago

As someone who has done a little study in the methodology put forward in recovery international, they have a modality of spotting temper and then using spots to reframe and recontextualize. Some of their spots include, “feelings are not facts.“ “People do things that annoy me, not necessarily to annoy me.“

210

Our community discussed

How Focusing on Purpose and Gratitude Helps You Be Less Critical

Shifting focus towards personal purpose, past accomplishments, and gratitude can effectively counteract self-criticism. Remembering how far you've come, acknowledging your strengths, and focusing on what truly matters helps diminish the power of negative self-assessment.

7 months ago

Remembering my purpose

160

Raelyn

5 months ago

I think about how much I’ve overcome, all of my successes or look back to a time when someone complimented me for just being me.

225

Qianrui

6 months ago

I think of my past hardships and pat myself on the shoulder. And tell myself, It's already good enough, me from the past is very glad you made it through.

205

Chrishayna

5 months ago

Being electrified with gratitude. There is no evidence of an inner critic in sight. It’s pierced through with the golden light of love and gratitude.

195

Our community discussed

Grounding Techniques to Interrupt Your Inner Critic

Sometimes, the best way to handle the inner critic is to interrupt its pattern through grounding or emotional release techniques. These methods help shift focus away from spiraling thoughts and reconnect with the present moment or process difficult emotions constructively.

Sam Lue

6 months ago

Journaling freestyle, e.g., the anger, upset, then ripping it all up and flushing down the toilet

170

Deirdre

7 months ago

I imagine having scissors in my hand and cutting a cord. I snip the thought with my fingers.

198

Abby

5 months ago

I try to search for my intuition. It will be like a tiny glowing thread with a faint voice. If I follow it and grab hold of it, it will say things like “I love you” “You’re strong and beautiful and kind” and it has unconditional support for me. I have to focus really hard on holding on to that thread as if it’s a rescue life buoy 🛟 thrown from a ship. Then I try to recognize the signs in my body. If I’m hungry or stressed or tired or overstimulated. I work from there on what I need and remind myself that the negative feeling emotions will not last and I won’t let it ruin my day... I surprise myself by how quickly I can bounce back when I listen to myself carefully.

261

Chelsy

5 months ago

Feeling confident in myself and giving myself a pep talk helps to silence my inner critic. When I believe in myself is when I begin to get rid of the inner critic and the negative thoughts inside of my head as well.

145

Advice from our community

How to Be Less Critical Based on Real Experiences

Treat Yourself Like a Friend: When the inner critic speaks, ask yourself if you would say such harsh things to a friend. Practice offering yourself the same compassion, understanding, and mercy you readily give others.
Question the Critic: Don't accept critical thoughts as facts. Challenge their logic, ask "why" repeatedly until the thought seems absurd, or look for the underlying (perhaps unmet) need the criticism might be masking.
Shift Focus to Positives: Actively recall your strengths, past successes, and how much you've overcome. Connect with your purpose or practice gratitude to counterbalance negativity and reinforce your worth.
Interrupt the Cycle: Use grounding techniques like mindful breathing, visualization (like cutting a cord), or checking in with your body's needs (hunger, tiredness). Sometimes, physically processing emotions through journaling and destroying the paper can also help break the pattern.